More About the American Dream

Problems with the ‘American Dream’

1) Ecologically unsustainable.

2) Suburbs lack character.

3) Economically precarious. The suburban lifestyle seems designed to keep its participants in maximum debt and commuting too many hours out of the day. Also a little to0 dependent on the corporate machine, and between their sketchy business models, questionable accounting and dehumanizing divisions of labor…Creates a need to dramatically re-architect our culture from the ground up. We should actively do this before the inevitable catastrophic collapse I see coming that is tied to Peak Oil.  

4) Conquering through division. Although its focus on the family is admirable, the cocooning/nesting aspect of it can break down the community. The upside of apartment living is much greater levels of contact with the neighbors, both positive and negative present opportunities for growth/contact/community. I have seen suburbs with solid networks of friendships, but it takes a little more effort to develop them.

On the more positive side- I have seen a model whereby small-scale family farming coupled with advanced technology and seriously green practice seems to offer hope for a new way. Two very important things need to happen: 1) Our culture needs to change profoundly. 2) We must break our dependence on oil and our dependence on the corporate machine that drives unsustainable lifestyles and ultimately unfulfilling consumerist mentalities.

New American Dream

Given the current economic climate and a few other things going on, I wanted to use my blog to kind of sort out a few thoughts and clarify intent. I think that the basic design of the American Dream is still intact, the paper part of it is sound, but the implementation may be off. Several of my friends seem to have attained the American Dream, and in the interest of disclosure I have to admit that my standard of living is very good. The best place to start is with definitions- what is the American Dream and is it common to all people from all walks of life in this country? Is it a global meme? Just going on what’s in my head under this file, I would start by saying this concept has its most recent roots in the post- WW2 economic boom and the corresponding baby boom. Its ancestral prototype is most likely the family farm. The basic configuration seems to be a nice home in the suburbs, with a backyard and front yard, a decent car and a commute to an office job. Marriage, two kids, Mom either works or doesn’t, but in these economic times, Mom does now. Two weeks vacation per year, typically to the beach. It sounds good to me. It sounds like the way I grew up. What could be wrong, what could be lacking, what could disturb this supposedly ideal scenario? Shouldn’t everybody live this way and go to church with thankful hearts on Sunday? In this post, I think I want to just lay out the basic premise, to trouble-shoot and investigate deserves an entire separate post. Next: Trouble in Paradise.

Bucketlist

I am really starting to see the bucketlist as just getting my affairs in order before a new phase of life. I have a feeling that I know what I am going to do once the bucketlist is completed. As I move deeper into my spiritual practice, I am beginning to feel that the practice moves deeper into me. In short, I am certain that I am in the midst of a deep and profound transformation, which I have been seeking for a long time. In a way, I think that everything that I have put time and energy into has led me to this point. Now, I start to see everything going cool for me, desires are just dropping away from me like a snakeskin being shed. I can see the way ahead very clearly: weekend retreats giving way to months and then year long intensives, a strange sense of calm joy inevitability overtakes me when I think of it. I can picture myself working in the monastery garden. I picture myself in the hall, in the robes, with my head shaved. I can see myself in the service, in the kitchen with the tenzo, helping here and there. It will all happen when the time is right. It’s one of those things that protects itself: too early and it won’t be right. There is no too late, so there is no rush.

The Big 4-0

The big 4-0 is truly a profound reality check. Staring down the barrel of this moment, I am overdue for a serious inventory. Unquestionably, it has to be about more than just looking at where I am in relation to where I hoped to be, what I am doing in relation to what I want or wanted to be doing, to look at Net Worth as an important number, and to figure out what action needs to be taken. It cannot be as simple as saying, well, I have money karma, but that is the only problem. I am starting to realize that if money is a problem, there are other things going on that influence it. Money issues may be the result of several other smaller issues that combine to generate some tight cash flow. On the positive side, my debt is very low, I don’t impulse buy, and I never spend a huge amount at one time unless its a matter of life and death. One of the things that will come to an immediate halt is my tendency to do a certain thing that leaves me only tired, angry and broke. So I am setting a concrete-solid deadline of May 10th for a certain project I am working on, and that is one thing taken care of. Now I need to take some time to explore what some other things might be that feed into the money karma. My chief weapon in this battle is meditation. If I center my life around this practice, what happens is that the ‘metabolisms of consumption’ that drive desires to spend money on this that or the other, start to vanish. I return to the basics- shelter, food, clothing, coffee and Borders. The next part of the puzzle is clarity of intention. The bucket list is my chief weapon here, this enables me to really screen out things that aren’t on it and stay focused on the items there. I can clearly visualize the items getting crossed off, plus I even know what to do once the list is complete. The last part is to just trust myself. Althought the results are not always obvious and there is some delayed gratification involved, I have to just trust myself that I am on track and know what I am doing, and in the long-term, the little seeds I plant and nurture will come to flower. Something that was very encouraging is my spring cleaning project, which is going splendidly. My living space, my habits, the way I have things organized is ready to support a higher, leaner, meaner and more productive way of functioning and thinking. More to come.

Money Karma

Yep, it’s that time of year again, time to pay the man. The most beautiful thing about money is that it doesn’t bullshit. You always know exactly where you stand as far as what you earn, what you spend, what your net worth is and how much you owe. It is the simplest, most direct reality check to get those W-2 s and 1099s in the mail along with whatever other forms may be coming. Like many people, I see these numbers and to me they are not anywhere near what I feel they should be or what I am capable of doing. Yet, there always seems to be some circumstance, problem, issue or whatever that creates a delay in this hopeful realization of my latent earning potential. I’ve tried most everything I can think of, and I know why things are the way they are, yet every year I get those little forms, its still the mental equivalent of a kick in the crotch. I think what is called for at this point is just patience and persistence, because I am finally clear about what my next ‘career’ is and how to get it going. Yet, it takes time. I am starting to discover the why of the 80-20 rule and the full essence of people valuing success, goals and high income precisely because its not easy. When it does come, I will not squander the income and I have many options for giving back. On the positive side, I will value it more because it seems to take so long to get where I am going. It is tiring and frustrating, but I really believe it’ll be worth it when I/we get there. Stay the course, full speed ahead.

The Spiritual Life

I am kind of in the middle of a huge spring cleaning project, all my energy seems focused on that, there is not much left over between school, work and this recording I am doing. I am trying to keep a frantic element from infusing my business, that never helps. Instead, I think patience is called for. Rome wasn’t burnt in a day. Because of the fact that I had expected to be in a very different situation career and finance -wise by now, I do feel a certain urgency to my various to-do’s. I am beginning to suspect that things aren’t precisely where I’d like because my spiritual life has been an afterthought at best for a very long time. Instead of making it the foundation, the core of my life, it has been on the back burner, barely on the stove even. As I begin to rectify that situation, I am noticing a shift, a pronounced shift in how everything goes. I am not as angry. I am a lot more patient. My relationships are better. I handle unexpected results and situations better. I could say that I wish I started earlier, but it is what it is, maybe the timing wasn’t right. The more I get my spiritual life going, the closer it gets to being completely integrated with my waking consciousness, then everywhere becomes the temple, my awareness becomes meditation, every perception the Dharma, every person the Tathagata. My financial and career goals seem to pale in comparison to this vision, yet, they just fall into a deeper context and lose a little of their inherent stress factor. It becomes OK for things to be just as they are, which must be accepted and perceived accurately before any real change can happen.

Beyond

Taking inventory at the end of the year I have come to some unsurprising but profound conclusions.

1) I have read enough fiction in my life.

2) I have played enough videogames in my life.

3) I have seen enough movies in my life.

4) I am still working out the money karma, but it has lost a lot of its charge. I’ll be completely debt-free at the end of this year, (except for some small student loans) and that changes one’s perspective a little. Its also changed my perspective on work a little as I have become less dependent on it.  

5) I’ve never been big on stuff. I don’t really need much, don’t need a lot of clothes, toys, things of that nature. The only things I find crucial are the computer and the electric piano, most everything else is not particularly important. I’ve been more focused on things as tools to accomplish a certain task, not really as things just to have.

6) I have become so focused on the things I am doing, school, work, various projects, that I have come to basically disregard the news as infotainment. Anyone being written about, as far as their relation to my life and whatever they are doing, they have 3 choices: 1) Lead. 2) Follow. 3) Get the heck out of the way. There are no other choices, only those doing #1 & not doing #3 get my attention. Anyone in the way just becomes a problem to be solved, this hasn’t really happened yet, mostly the only things that cause problems for me are circumstances & conditions. Ephemeral as they are, they still occasionally take time to straighten out/optimize.

More later.

Spring Cleaning & Inventory

It seems to be far easier to go through possessions and figure out what to get rid of than to take stock of mental inventory and figure out what to get rid of. I think if I feel that I should be somewhere different, under different conditions, with a different number in the bankbook, this is not helpful. I am deeply grateful for what is, I accept myself where I am and I am happy. It seems some sort of reflex, to want more, to need some concrete thing outside of ourselves as confirmation of our worth, with all the attendant drama of that mindset. I will be mindful of the ultimate goal and strive for that. I am just in the right position for what I am about to do, an ideal candidate to study the way and embark upon it. It occurs to me that I have very few distractions. When the bucketlist is done, I can really intensify my practice, then I will be able to block out huge chunks of time and devote them solely to practice without distraction. Of course, at some point I may be able to unify my practice with my life, then everything I do should be practice, taking me further along the path. If I can do that, I think things will go faster, though I don’t think I should put a timeframe on that. Its been hard for me to hear that I have stressed myself out unnecessarily with arbitrary timeframes, but I believe it to be true. I will be patient and allow myself to get where I am going in my own time. That’s the thing I like the most about Buddhism- if I don’t get it done in this life, I can just come back. ;- )

Another Quick Note

Spring Cleaning:  Going very well.

Additional work hours: Going very well, deeply grateful.

Class: Unusually great results. My friends are surprised too.

Recording -Bel Sogno Project: I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Bucket list: Preparing to cross off item 1, work on item 2, and continuing progress on the rest. In the worst case, by 2015 there should only be 2 items left.

Some Insight

It seems counterintuitive, but I have come to the realization that in order to change where we are, we must love where we are. This, for me, seems to entail also realizing that anything I want to be different about my life or situation is purely subjective. I am convinced that I will have a much greater power to change my life the more I love it just as it is now. My hope is that as I do so, I will see it more clearly and know the best possible action to take. I cannot come from a position that is negative, I have to come from joy and take action based on joy, service and production, abundance and positive energy rather than a perspective of ‘fixing’.