Spring Cleaning & Inventory

It seems to be far easier to go through possessions and figure out what to get rid of than to take stock of mental inventory and figure out what to get rid of. I think if I feel that I should be somewhere different, under different conditions, with a different number in the bankbook, this is not helpful. I am deeply grateful for what is, I accept myself where I am and I am happy. It seems some sort of reflex, to want more, to need some concrete thing outside of ourselves as confirmation of our worth, with all the attendant drama of that mindset. I will be mindful of the ultimate goal and strive for that. I am just in the right position for what I am about to do, an ideal candidate to study the way and embark upon it. It occurs to me that I have very few distractions. When the bucketlist is done, I can really intensify my practice, then I will be able to block out huge chunks of time and devote them solely to practice without distraction. Of course, at some point I may be able to unify my practice with my life, then everything I do should be practice, taking me further along the path. If I can do that, I think things will go faster, though I don’t think I should put a timeframe on that. Its been hard for me to hear that I have stressed myself out unnecessarily with arbitrary timeframes, but I believe it to be true. I will be patient and allow myself to get where I am going in my own time. That’s the thing I like the most about Buddhism- if I don’t get it done in this life, I can just come back. ;- )

Another Quick Note

Spring Cleaning:  Going very well.

Additional work hours: Going very well, deeply grateful.

Class: Unusually great results. My friends are surprised too.

Recording -Bel Sogno Project: I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Bucket list: Preparing to cross off item 1, work on item 2, and continuing progress on the rest. In the worst case, by 2015 there should only be 2 items left.

Some Insight

It seems counterintuitive, but I have come to the realization that in order to change where we are, we must love where we are. This, for me, seems to entail also realizing that anything I want to be different about my life or situation is purely subjective. I am convinced that I will have a much greater power to change my life the more I love it just as it is now. My hope is that as I do so, I will see it more clearly and know the best possible action to take. I cannot come from a position that is negative, I have to come from joy and take action based on joy, service and production, abundance and positive energy rather than a perspective of ‘fixing’.

Helpful Idea

I was up late last night going over the things I am working on with my lifecoach, and I realized all the energy I put into contemplating my legacy, whatever it will turn out to be. The best way for me to think about my life’s energy is as a gift. The totality of my life’s action and karma is a gift given to the Universe. It seems appropriate for the holiday season to think of it in that way. Furthermore, it seems to relieve any existential pressure I feel to ‘account’ for myself. Any significant goal or achievement that anyone strives for- (the first things I imagine are a medical, teaching, or engineering practice, a singing career, a groundbreaking piece of writing) – is a gift to the Universe. Someone who accomplishes this is presenting a substantial net gain of positive energy to the Universe. Part of what makes it significant is the challenge of it, the difficulty in it. Anything like these kinds of achievements should be seen as a gift, and any resulting recognition for it is other people celebrating it. It may seem obvious, but it is good for me to be reminded of the context of the effort, to speak it outright as an exercise.

I am sure I am not the only one

Christmas kind of kicks my ass. Working, shopping, guests, I am just plain whacked and honestly glad its over. It’s fun, but I am glad it only comes once a year. I still have not got the hang of wrapping presents:  they are not bad, but you can tell they are ‘guy-wrapped.’ Now I have that odd feeling that comes from napping in the mid afternoon- better, but not really all that refreshed. I don’t really want to do anything. I don’t want to watch TV or read. I am computered out and do not want to start spring cleaning yet. I think times like these are why God invented hi-test egg-nog. ;-]

Aikido

I went to a great intro lesson at Bond Street Dojo. Although I don’t have the budget allocatable until maybe spring or so, their dues are very affordable, especially for students. The community was  polite and friendly, the teaching was excellent. I think I learned about as much as is possible to learn in an introduction, I keep getting attracted to things that a person can spend a lifetime refining without really thinking they have perfected it. Aikido is based on a few simple principles and techniques. Leverage, balance, footwork and basic physiognomy all combine to create an extremely effective style with strong self-defense aspects. This is a good style for women and kids as well, because the techniques do not require a lot of force to be effective. One of the intermediate students assisting in the class said something pity: he said that we need something to work on outside of work, outside of our relationships, a little something for ourselves. It could be anything, but Aikido is an excellent choice. Some have videogames, some have remote control cars. Baseball is a popular choice in my neighborhood. Chess is another good choice in this city. My dad became a decent pianist and participated in a studio recital. Plus, it always bothered me that I never finished my black belt in Tae Kwon Do, I have a feeling this will make an ideal substitution for singing.

Nice little sign in DeCafe

DeCafe is a little coffee shop on Broadway near 204th. No, it’s not in the Bronx. Manahattan extends all the way up to 218th street before you hit the Broadway bridge. Anyhoo, the sign said (paraphrasing) The things to have:

Something to do

Something to love

Something to hope for

(And some coffee!)

Close to something

I am not sure what it is about the Subway, but I have been meditating while I ride. It works, I can’t explain it. I felt something ‘click’ today that I can’t explain either, definitely a breakthrough of some kind. It’s possible it was the first jaana because that is how I imagined it might be. This little taste has really helped me, its also made me hungry for more. My practice is really starting to take shape, I really think its going well.

Randy Couture

Shoot, man, one of my favorite fighters just lost the Heavyweight UFC title. Some people are saying that it might’ve been fixed. Couture himself was quoted on Yahoo as saying something like “Those are some big-ass hamhocks coming at you.” I think that kind of sums it up, there should be a separate weight-class: Everything under light-heavyweight (185 max), light heavyweight (205 max), heavyweight (206-235) and Lesnar (235-265). How do you fight a guy who drops from 280 to 265 to make weight, yet seems to have the speed and agility of a light-heavyweight? Plus mad wrestling skills, so any submission is going to be hard-earned. Low kicks + submission? Try for a choke? I think he’s strong enough to peel almost anyone’s hold right off. How much time before one of those hams finds its way to your head? I saw Couture SPANK Ortiz literally, an unquestionably great fighter, I think even Steve Seagal would be in trouble against Lesnar. Heavyweights, I feel your pain, I think any one out there in MMA today is in for a tough night vs. Lesnar. Slice would last about 7 seconds, sad but true. The idea of fighting Couture to begin with would be bad enough. Yep, this may come as a surprise to anyone who reads this regularly, but I’ve been following MMA since before ‘05.

That 1 Guy- pass it along

Geordie Keitt of the Furies turned me on to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBVdRxquOXE&feature=related

I sort of want to dance and jam out, but I am laughing too hard. He’s a little bit Primus in the lyrics and some basslines, a little bit Edgar Varese, a little bit Goreckyj, a lot amazing. Very musical and fun, check it out.