Let it Ride- the examined life

I have a couple of friends who are into tattoos. I have thought about getting one a few times, and I enjoy seeing a really well-done piece of ink. When I thought about it a little more, I realized that I didn’t like the ‘advertising’ nature of it, as if you are announcing to the world the symbol of how you see yourself. I realized that all my tattoos are on the inside. The experiences generated by the choices I make create the person I am: the one making the choices. Making the choices about where I invest time and effort. The time and effort I put in generate results and circumstances, these determine the quality of my life. It is easy to figure out what a person finds meaningful to them: where they put time and effort. A person’s character, consciousness, education, are reflected in the choices they make , which play a large part in determining their circumstances and result. There seems to be a synergistic, almost cyclical effect at work here: experience+nature+education=choices. (Choices > results > circumstances) – uncontrolled variables. It turns out to be even truer, as who we are really shows in how we deal with uncontrolled variables. It turns out to be unnecessary to worry about meaning in the sense where I could speak it in a sentence and say “This is MEANING.” Instead, I see who I am as my consciousness, and the function of my consciousness is to make decisions about where to invest my time and energy. This seems to work for me as, though seemingly obvious on face value,  an objective description of the condition of being human. Taken as a given, it could save an enormous amount of time otherwise invested in grasping other problems from the wrong end. So now I have an a priori that I can use as given when looking at other problems of a philosophical nature. Then, what is functional about being human is being clear about what results and circumstances I am looking to generate. Honesty: am I investing my time and effort according to these results I am trying to generate? So then what I have here is an objective default purpose which is true by virtue of describing a condition accurately. It turns out that my first principle here is in line with all the wisdom literature I have encountered- Toltec, Arica, Buddhist, Discordian, etc. No conflict with Christianity either. So what we are doing at any point in time is just being awareness, choosing where to place attention and energy. This knowledge could make people really stingy about their time and attention, about their energy and focus. The next step would be to create a value system, priorities about where to put your energy. Meaning= time management! 

Lost

I had a close friend recently tell me that I seemed ‘lost’ to him. I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant, but it was someone I’ve known for a long time and whose judgment about certain things I trust implicitly. Like most developmental feedback I get from him, I didn’t find it offensive, but rather it aroused my curiousity. I wasn’t exactly sure why I would seem lost, but I believe that he was speaking in terms of my artistic self, my performing self, which seems once again on the brink of extinction as far as singing goes. My immediate response was to say “Not all who wander are lost.” I followed up by saying that I considered my quality of life to be extremely high and furthermore would achieve positive Net Worth within the year and self-employment within 10. This person is very competitive, and is an International authority in his field, and not accustomed to being called into question. I am one of what I assume is a very small number of people who can do that. Suffice it to say that we didn’t go as deep as I would’ve liked, but he seemed mollified and he clarified that he wanted to see my musical talents used more. I understood, but I am thinking we should talk more about this.

Registered for Class

Today I registered for two classes for my first semester of Graduate School. I am excited, haven’t been this excited since the first day of High School. Why? I feel like I finally have the maturity and experience to really USE the classwork, not just for the purpose of getting a job, but to address a larger goal, that of being able to truly educate myself. The first thing I really want to address is my slipshod research skills, this is why I consider the MSLIS to be a terminal degree. Again why? I had a realization that the most valuable knowledge to have is The Knowledge of Where the Knowledge is Kept! For someone inclined to become an autodidact, the MSLIS is the key to the kingdom. The promise of becoming a full-fledged librarian is to learn to navigate the complete realm of all known human knowledge. Of course, it may be nearly impossible to encompass where 100% of everything is, and no research could ever take in 100% of all known sources for the question, but as a librarian I think I will be able to find any answer I need that is known. The next tasks are to understand and use the knowledge as a tool to accomplish something. And of course, the next frontier of knowledge is the filtering and organization of large quantities of information in an efficient way.  My work as a librarian is going to be a little philosophical in nature and inquire along the lines of the value of information. What makes information valuable? What makes information useful? How can information be leveraged for business purposes, for political purposes, for the causes of social justice and environmental, spiritual, physical evolution? How can we keep the Internet free from control by the elites and the small ruling class? Maybe its just plain weird that I think about things like that, but all my life I’ve tried to think like people I read about in History class that I admired. How did the founders think? How do people that win the Nobel or Pulitzer think? How do billionaires and leaders think? This is how we create lasting change of significant scope.

Back on track!

I got great news the other day- I was accepted to graduate school, which seems an excellent choice for me and invented by the Divine specifically for people in my situation. It feels great to be headed towards something, even if it just seems to be a better situation (slightly hazy at this point, but definitely better). The most important thing is that there is a new concrete, specific goal out there in the (near) future. It makes temping easier to handle, and that was getting to be a depressing grind. I think if you do it for too long it is the kiss of death. I have had two permanent offers recently, one was an almost insulting low-ball offer and the other one I accepted wasn’t a good fit for me. Of course, I never feel alone dealing with difficult work issues, everyone seems to go through these challenges. Not to be negative, but I am close to being convinced that the majority of Corporate America’s leadership has its head firmly implanted up its backside. Ergo, the overwhelming obsession I have with becoming self-employed and financially independent.  If I end up with a decent librarian position, hopefully in a State or private University, it will be a very substantial increase in income. And, since I will likely be debt-free this year, that increase can go mostly to investing and I could potentially be at the closing table about every 8 months buying property. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I sometimes like to think of my group of local friends, my wife and myself as another version of the HBO show Entourage. To encourage myself to be more successful, I see myself and the other three of us as vying for the success Adrian Grenier’s character Vince. I seem to be closest to the Kevin Dillon character of Johnny Chase, my wife is like Eric, my other 2 male friends closest to Turtle and Vince. So there is this informal friendly rivalry to see who will end up becoming the Vince financially…the ideal situation of course is to have all four of us at Vince’s level of success, that would truly rock. I challenged my wife the other night by saying that I was going to end up as Vince first, life can imitate art. The most important thing is that everything short-term is happening within that long-range context, and I react to it and make decisions to keep on course and speed up. Being heavily influenced by Discordian philosophy and Chaos Theory, it seems unwise to over-invest in the long haul, but it works for me to ‘grasp lightly’ on the goal and maintain speed and direction as the default plan. Next post – lost?