Beyond

Taking inventory at the end of the year I have come to some unsurprising but profound conclusions.

1) I have read enough fiction in my life.

2) I have played enough videogames in my life.

3) I have seen enough movies in my life.

4) I am still working out the money karma, but it has lost a lot of its charge. I’ll be completely debt-free at the end of this year, (except for some small student loans) and that changes one’s perspective a little. Its also changed my perspective on work a little as I have become less dependent on it.  

5) I’ve never been big on stuff. I don’t really need much, don’t need a lot of clothes, toys, things of that nature. The only things I find crucial are the computer and the electric piano, most everything else is not particularly important. I’ve been more focused on things as tools to accomplish a certain task, not really as things just to have.

6) I have become so focused on the things I am doing, school, work, various projects, that I have come to basically disregard the news as infotainment. Anyone being written about, as far as their relation to my life and whatever they are doing, they have 3 choices: 1) Lead. 2) Follow. 3) Get the heck out of the way. There are no other choices, only those doing #1 & not doing #3 get my attention. Anyone in the way just becomes a problem to be solved, this hasn’t really happened yet, mostly the only things that cause problems for me are circumstances & conditions. Ephemeral as they are, they still occasionally take time to straighten out/optimize.

More later.

Spring Cleaning & Inventory

It seems to be far easier to go through possessions and figure out what to get rid of than to take stock of mental inventory and figure out what to get rid of. I think if I feel that I should be somewhere different, under different conditions, with a different number in the bankbook, this is not helpful. I am deeply grateful for what is, I accept myself where I am and I am happy. It seems some sort of reflex, to want more, to need some concrete thing outside of ourselves as confirmation of our worth, with all the attendant drama of that mindset. I will be mindful of the ultimate goal and strive for that. I am just in the right position for what I am about to do, an ideal candidate to study the way and embark upon it. It occurs to me that I have very few distractions. When the bucketlist is done, I can really intensify my practice, then I will be able to block out huge chunks of time and devote them solely to practice without distraction. Of course, at some point I may be able to unify my practice with my life, then everything I do should be practice, taking me further along the path. If I can do that, I think things will go faster, though I don’t think I should put a timeframe on that. Its been hard for me to hear that I have stressed myself out unnecessarily with arbitrary timeframes, but I believe it to be true. I will be patient and allow myself to get where I am going in my own time. That’s the thing I like the most about Buddhism- if I don’t get it done in this life, I can just come back. ;- )

Another Quick Note

Spring Cleaning:  Going very well.

Additional work hours: Going very well, deeply grateful.

Class: Unusually great results. My friends are surprised too.

Recording -Bel Sogno Project: I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Bucket list: Preparing to cross off item 1, work on item 2, and continuing progress on the rest. In the worst case, by 2015 there should only be 2 items left.

Some Insight

It seems counterintuitive, but I have come to the realization that in order to change where we are, we must love where we are. This, for me, seems to entail also realizing that anything I want to be different about my life or situation is purely subjective. I am convinced that I will have a much greater power to change my life the more I love it just as it is now. My hope is that as I do so, I will see it more clearly and know the best possible action to take. I cannot come from a position that is negative, I have to come from joy and take action based on joy, service and production, abundance and positive energy rather than a perspective of ‘fixing’.