The Big 4-0

The big 4-0 is truly a profound reality check. Staring down the barrel of this moment, I am overdue for a serious inventory. Unquestionably, it has to be about more than just looking at where I am in relation to where I hoped to be, what I am doing in relation to what I want or wanted to be doing, to look at Net Worth as an important number, and to figure out what action needs to be taken. It cannot be as simple as saying, well, I have money karma, but that is the only problem. I am starting to realize that if money is a problem, there are other things going on that influence it. Money issues may be the result of several other smaller issues that combine to generate some tight cash flow. On the positive side, my debt is very low, I don’t impulse buy, and I never spend a huge amount at one time unless its a matter of life and death. One of the things that will come to an immediate halt is my tendency to do a certain thing that leaves me only tired, angry and broke. So I am setting a concrete-solid deadline of May 10th for a certain project I am working on, and that is one thing taken care of. Now I need to take some time to explore what some other things might be that feed into the money karma. My chief weapon in this battle is meditation. If I center my life around this practice, what happens is that the ‘metabolisms of consumption’ that drive desires to spend money on this that or the other, start to vanish. I return to the basics- shelter, food, clothing, coffee and Borders. The next part of the puzzle is clarity of intention. The bucket list is my chief weapon here, this enables me to really screen out things that aren’t on it and stay focused on the items there. I can clearly visualize the items getting crossed off, plus I even know what to do once the list is complete. The last part is to just trust myself. Althought the results are not always obvious and there is some delayed gratification involved, I have to just trust myself that I am on track and know what I am doing, and in the long-term, the little seeds I plant and nurture will come to flower. Something that was very encouraging is my spring cleaning project, which is going splendidly. My living space, my habits, the way I have things organized is ready to support a higher, leaner, meaner and more productive way of functioning and thinking. More to come.

Money Karma

Yep, it’s that time of year again, time to pay the man. The most beautiful thing about money is that it doesn’t bullshit. You always know exactly where you stand as far as what you earn, what you spend, what your net worth is and how much you owe. It is the simplest, most direct reality check to get those W-2 s and 1099s in the mail along with whatever other forms may be coming. Like many people, I see these numbers and to me they are not anywhere near what I feel they should be or what I am capable of doing. Yet, there always seems to be some circumstance, problem, issue or whatever that creates a delay in this hopeful realization of my latent earning potential. I’ve tried most everything I can think of, and I know why things are the way they are, yet every year I get those little forms, its still the mental equivalent of a kick in the crotch. I think what is called for at this point is just patience and persistence, because I am finally clear about what my next ‘career’ is and how to get it going. Yet, it takes time. I am starting to discover the why of the 80-20 rule and the full essence of people valuing success, goals and high income precisely because its not easy. When it does come, I will not squander the income and I have many options for giving back. On the positive side, I will value it more because it seems to take so long to get where I am going. It is tiring and frustrating, but I really believe it’ll be worth it when I/we get there. Stay the course, full speed ahead.

The Spiritual Life

I am kind of in the middle of a huge spring cleaning project, all my energy seems focused on that, there is not much left over between school, work and this recording I am doing. I am trying to keep a frantic element from infusing my business, that never helps. Instead, I think patience is called for. Rome wasn’t burnt in a day. Because of the fact that I had expected to be in a very different situation career and finance -wise by now, I do feel a certain urgency to my various to-do’s. I am beginning to suspect that things aren’t precisely where I’d like because my spiritual life has been an afterthought at best for a very long time. Instead of making it the foundation, the core of my life, it has been on the back burner, barely on the stove even. As I begin to rectify that situation, I am noticing a shift, a pronounced shift in how everything goes. I am not as angry. I am a lot more patient. My relationships are better. I handle unexpected results and situations better. I could say that I wish I started earlier, but it is what it is, maybe the timing wasn’t right. The more I get my spiritual life going, the closer it gets to being completely integrated with my waking consciousness, then everywhere becomes the temple, my awareness becomes meditation, every perception the Dharma, every person the Tathagata. My financial and career goals seem to pale in comparison to this vision, yet, they just fall into a deeper context and lose a little of their inherent stress factor. It becomes OK for things to be just as they are, which must be accepted and perceived accurately before any real change can happen.