I am really starting to see the bucketlist as just getting my affairs in order before a new phase of life. I have a feeling that I know what I am going to do once the bucketlist is completed. As I move deeper into my spiritual practice, I am beginning to feel that the practice moves deeper into me. In short, I am certain that I am in the midst of a deep and profound transformation, which I have been seeking for a long time. In a way, I think that everything that I have put time and energy into has led me to this point. Now, I start to see everything going cool for me, desires are just dropping away from me like a snakeskin being shed. I can see the way ahead very clearly: weekend retreats giving way to months and then year long intensives, a strange sense of calm joy inevitability overtakes me when I think of it. I can picture myself working in the monastery garden. I picture myself in the hall, in the robes, with my head shaved. I can see myself in the service, in the kitchen with the tenzo, helping here and there. It will all happen when the time is right. It’s one of those things that protects itself: too early and it won’t be right. There is no too late, so there is no rush.
